Las Vegas

Vacation is calling my name... just two more days till I'm in Las Vegas I cant wait. This is going to be just the start of me really living life. I have been so trapped in this mind set of doing nothing but working. laying down, and cleaning. It is really time for me to have some fun again. as they would call it getting white girl wasted. and pretty much having a great time with the family I am going with. I'm 21 and I really haven't partied except for New Years when one of my really good friends had a party. Goodness that night I was done by midnight! I want to experience new things, new places and different faces. I want shop till i drop, drink till i cant hang, go to shows, gamble and be who I want to be. doubt that someone would read this, but hey i think this may help me get things off my chest and just talk about things in general. It is my moms birthday celebration so I'm really excited to spend some quality time with family and wont have to worry about work. Ahh Friday cant come soon enough!

Aggravated

I am a type of person who gives more than she takes.....but why am I the one constantly getting screwed over. It is official I am not lending anybody any more money ever, simply because they never pay me back when they tell me they are going to. Basically I rely on that money till I get it back. And I'm so tired of being nice to everybody this is such bogus. Why cant for just one time I let someone borrow money and they pay me back on time. God I'm so tired of everyone thinking that someone is going to pick up there slack and pay it for them. If you blow your money on BS then at least pay off the people you owe. I'm just way too nice of a person and I'm tired of being screwed over. This is the end of my rant! But seriously come on now!

Lonely

Honestly I believe that the loneliness I have been encountering the last year is really starting to take over me. I honestly make myself feel bad for not being with anyone. Is it me? I'm not quite sure but I do know this it seems to me that I'm just not willing to let anyone in yet, I've been single a year this month...maybe its because when I do meet someone I talk to them for a bit and suddenly I'm either pushing them away or I'm just so cold hearted that I just stop talking to them. Guess it is me. Am I really to blame though? I have been through so much and even if I began to tell you...you probably would not  understand. I'm ready for love again I tell you. I don't want to wait anymore. I want to live, I don't want to just be here for the sake of it. I want to share my life with someone, a man, not a boy a real man who knows how to carry himself. I want the damn butterflies again. The last year I have done everything you possibly could think of to become a young independent women. And I keep fighting this urge that I do need someone and it would be because I don't want to be independent. It's simply because I want to share my life with someone. Girls may think im crazy or I haven't experienced enough but boy let me tell you I've probably been through more than you honestly realize. those are my sacred secrets, I must not speak of because it will only bring me down. Love please find me already! Sincerely Mallory Messenger

In desperate need of vacation time! APRIL 26th cant come fast enough Las Vegas here I come !  Feel like I'm constantly on the go.. and I need some relax time. Nice hotel and lots of things to do other than just work. Little break how I cant wait for you!